Monday, September 15, 2014

Boyfriend's Coming Back!

As you know, Boyfriend's been on a trip for the past couple of weeks. I've been...hanging. He's coming back this week, though!


There was no need to waste makeup/water/laundry when Boyfriend was away, frankly.
Anyway, I'm anticipating a conversation like this:





Yay!! Excuse me, I'll be flexing my hug muscles in anticipation of Boyfriend's return.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Throwback Thursday: My Not So Secret Addiction

Throwback Thursday: Seeing as how Boyfriend is still on his trip, I've been embracing this puppy/kitten watching disease. Also, ducks. I like ducks. 
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To what, you ask?

Sigh. I kind of don’t want to tell you guys. But I will. Because honesty is my policy.


PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME.  


But seriously guys. Friday nights with Boyfriend have pretty much turned into this:









Is there a support group for people like me? I need help.

Monday, September 8, 2014

UNGHHH Boyfriend’s Away Still

Boyfriend is still on his trip to visit parks/sights out west. Scary places like DEATH VALLEY.



See? Better.

And UTAH.




In the meantime, Kitty and I have been holding down the fort here.


And then when she does go after it, she ends up antagonizing it and then losing it!! Or if she manages to murder it, she just bats it around and leaves it for me. Kitty, is it too much to ask for you to EAT the bugs?!?! Sheesh. It's not like you pay rent

Yep, we’ve been keeping busy alright.



What’s up with you guys? Anything more exciting than this? (Yes. The answer must be yes.)

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Rational Fears about Boyfriend's Trip

Throwback Thursday: Since Boyfriend is once again going out west where there are whores and cougars and bears and giant canyons he can fall into, this post feels especially relevant this week. 
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So, as I mentioned last week, Boyfriend is on vacation with his kids for a whole 10 days. He’s going to the Grand Canyon and other parks in Arizona/Utah.



And since hey, I’m crazy, I’m having some concerns about this trip, much like when he went to New Orleans.  What am I worried about, you ask?

1. Cougars.
Not this kind:
Remember her?
But this kind:
Yes, a cougar does look surprisingly like a lioness. Shut up.

2. Wives. 
He’s going to Utah too. What if he converts to Mormonism there and comes back with a bunch of wives?!?

Here, let me break it down for you:
Clicky to make bigger and read.
I fear this will happen:


This is how it works, right?




Watch yourself, Boyfriend.

3. The Canyon itself
It’s a giant hole, right?!? WHAT IF HE FALLS IN?!?!

Suddenly realizing that I’ve made it painfully obvious that I have not yet been to the grand canyon.

4. Zombie Sluts

Just cuz. I mean, you never know where they'll show up.

Anyhoo, I googled “scary things about the grand canyon” and other fears now include mules on the trails, freezing, starving, drowning, sunburn, but really the multiple wives thing.

Only 6 more days til he comes home! 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Podcast 34: Pre Trip Nonsense





Yep, stupid Boyfriend is going out stupid west with his stupid son for two stupid weeks. Stupid. 

No, the podcast is not me whining about that for an hour, I promise. I held it in. I did get a teeny bit drunk by the end of it (but hey, so did Boyfriend). Here's to drinking on an empty stomach!  Enjoy!

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Pie Making

Throwback Thursday, because I made Boyfriend an apple pie last week! Pie pie pie. Pie.
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I came into an abundance of blueberries recently, and decided to make a pie.


Here’s how I did it, in 29 easy steps.


1. Look for a recipe with positive reviews.


2. Look at the comments and all the adjustments.


3. Go crazy.


4. Do some fancy math and create your own recipe.

Math. I did it.
5. Wash blueberries.

6. Eat some.

7. Measure them.

8. Know your limits. Add extra for snacking.


9. Keep snacking on those blueberries.

10. Put all the dry ingredients together and mix with blueberries

11. Taste some.

12. Realize how delicious blueberries + sugar is and go to town on the bowl.


13. Feel shame.

14 Put blueberries in pie shell



15. Cover and vent

16. Put in oven and do some fancy math to figure out how long and what temperature to cook for


17. Check pie after 15 minutes. See that crust fell down in one spot. Panic.

  
18. Be concerned that you ate too much blueberries.

19. Wish you had eaten more blueberries when you had the chance.

20. Consider napping because 50 minutes is  a long time for something to bake.

21. Take pie out of oven when timer goes off.


22. Panic til Boyfriend arrives

23.  Allow Boyfriend to praise pie


(It was the first time he saw me since this)

24. Cut pie. See it’s watery.

 I know its blurry I was in a rush shut up

25. Freak out.

26. Get assured pie is delicious

27. Eat pie.

28. Eat more pie.

29. NEVER STOP EATING PIIIIIIEEEEEE!


And that’s how you make a blueberry pie.