Monday, March 5, 2012

Let’s Talk About Hugging

[Before we get to today's post, please check out the new links on the sidebar ---> I made a Facebook page! Please like me. And let me know if you have a page I can like -- it appears I can only "like" pages, not individual profiles. Womp womp.  Thanks! Also, I'm linking up with yeahwrite!]


Confession time: I’m not a big fan of touching other people. In fact, if it were socially acceptable to snarl at people when they tried to touch me, I would be all about that. 



Not surprisingly, hugging is…rough. Is it rough for you guys, too? I feel like bloggers may be a bit anti-touch. Or maybe I’m just projecting my antisocial-ness. …anyone? I want a cat. 

ANYHOO. I have broken hugs down into three different categories.  Consider it a guide for how to hug like a pro.

1. Hugs with Friends/Acquaintances/Most Family

You know, when that friend you hardly see or your sister or your bff wants to hug you? Honestly, for these people I’d prefer to just do this:



Apparently that’s considered batshitcrazy rude, so instead I do the lean in one arm approach. I think it conveys, “I like you enough that I’m doing this even though it physically pains me.” 


See:


I don’t want to say I should receive a medal for hugging these people, but maybe some kind of cookie for my efforts would be appreciated. 

2. Hugs with My Mom


She gets her own category, because she’s one of the only people I don't mind hugging like a normal person. What? I love my mom. Shut up. 

Seriously, shut up.

3. Hugging Boyfriend


Boyfriend is the only person I actually ENJOY hugging. Maybe even too much.



Clingy? Who said I was clingy??

I think he should feel honored. 

70 comments:

  1. A quality, illustrated guide. Though I think you missed the "dude hug" where they shake hands, keep that hand between them while patting on the back. I used to be anti-hug, now I've swung the opposite direction. I'll hug strangers. I'll hug a homeless person who just ran a marathon in the middle of Summer while wearing a fur coat. It matters not. Affection is good, don't fight it.

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  2. I tell people I don't like to be touched all of the time. I don't care if it's rude. I am a rude person. Invisible boyfriend can hug me whenever he likes, though.

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  3. I'm actually a big fan of hugs. Heck, Poke the Rock at one stage actually worshipped me as her God and my only commandment was that she hug me whenever we first met up or were saying goodbye..... what? I thought it was a good commandment!

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  4. i dont mind hugging but i really dont like this pretentious cheek-to-cheek thing. i don't have oily skin but most people do and when our skin touch, it's really gross.

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  5. Agreed times a million. My mom and grandma are really the only ones who can get a full-on hug without me cringing and silently cursing them to a life of constant John Mayer playing in their head. I'm not a touchy-feely person and don't really enjoy most people, so there's that as well...

    Anyway, hugs are okay when I want them. Just not when I don't. I guess I'm kind of feline in that way.

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  6. Just like you...it depends on who I'm hugging. Most of my family is anti-hug, so I've never thought much about hugging them. I also agree with you that Boyfriend should feel honored that you want to hug him so much. It's quite a compliment!

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  8. I am an Indian, we dont even hug our spouses(that doesnt explain the population) in public. Absolutely no hugging. So, it was tough for me to get used to hugging in US, and I guess hugging is lot better than anything. Not everyone is good in expressing their love in words or smile, hugging does make things easy for you.
    Early whenever someone tried to hug me, I used to cringe like a person with "brittle bone disease" and later like germaphobic, now I am good.
    I should get used to kissing too.

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  9. Totally with you on this! I am not the hugging kind at all. I especially hate reunions and funerals (and reunions at funerals especially), which have a high hug factor involved. The whole hug card idea really, really appeals to me a lot.

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  10. I have a very big problem with huggy people. And you're absolutely right, if it isn't my mom (both of them) my FIL or my husband, stay out of my bubble!!!

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  11. I don't mind hugging people and kissing on the cheek...as long as they aren't dirty or creepy. Whenever I see one of my "favs" I'm known for jumping on them and giving them a big hug. Does that creep you out???? hahahaha

    P.S. I liked you on Facebook!

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  12. I'm sending you an ehug now...two hands.

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  13. Hey this was a great post. I'm not used to hugging - so it takes some getting used to when I'm in the States. There's just a bit too much contact for me I guess.

    However, when and if I ever get myself a sexy sweet guy... I'll never let go. It's going to be kisses and hugs and kisses and hugs and kisses and hugs.... and everything else that goes along with it.

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  14. Oh my life! I couldnt agree more. I wrote about it ages ago...have a mother flippin' looooooook! http://www.candyforbfast.com/2011/06/hugs.html

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  15. I agree. I'm not into hugging. I'll hug my mom and of course I hug Boyfriend. And a select 3 other people, BFFs. But anyone else just gets that "kiss" on the cheek deal.

    Yay for Facebook pages!

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  16. shhh outlaw!!! I hated physical contact until I came to Ireland and everybody was like hey lets get up in your personal space...now I am OK with it. Must have been some extensive shock therapy.

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  17. I hate being touched. My husband is the only one that can touch me without me getting angry. Sometimes my sister too. The rest of the population, including my mother, I get so freaking angry when they hug, touch, pet, stroke me. Keep your touchiness to yourself and I'll keep my personal space. Thanks.

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  18. I will hug someone I remotely know. If I have ever met you (and liked you), went to the 1st grade with you, went out on a date with you, you were ever nice to my children even once, you get a hug. If I find you snooty or creepy or if I even heard you said something mean to or about my kids, you will be lucky if I don't slap you. I don't really slap physically but in my mind, oh in my mind. My Father was a very loving man but he taught me through example that some people just aren't worth your time. So if I meet you, you must remind me not to hug you because I feel like we are old friends.

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  19. My girlfriend does the forever-hug before I have to leave her house.

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  20. I don't mind hugs, but what really freaks me out are people who kiss. Like the air kiss. Or even worse, the time I fixed a family friend's computer (she's like 50) and she thanked me by kissing me on the lips, in that very platonic grandmotherly *MUAH* way. It was so. Freaking. Weird. Especially because her husband was standing RIGHT there smiling.

    (I've never been back)

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    1. Lol my grandmother gave me a huge wet kiss on the lips once. I don't know what the rules are about grandmothers and kisses - but in my opinion it was just gross!

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  21. I am not down with the social hug. It's freaky. I have invented the patented (okay, it's not really patented) "Hug Blocker 2000." What you do is, extend right your hand to shake hands like a normal, non-freakish person and then grab your right elbow with your left hand. You have just created a blocking forearm to prevent any attempt by the other person to ignore your extended hand and go in for the hug. If necessary, you can use your left elbow to jab if a more aggressive defense is required.

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  22. I wasn't a big hugger until about a year ago. I'm still really awkward at it from years of not doing it but I am getting better at it. I never realized that they can make you feel good. I think they pump up your endorphins like exercise but you don't have to get all sweaty and pay for a gym membership.

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  23. I am anti hugging. I will actually step back if someone tries to hug me.

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  24. I like real hugs. I hate phony "oh, it's soooo good to see you" hugs. And I don't like being touched by strangers.

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  25. Apparently hugs are the new handshake and this is bad. Hugs are intimate. I hug my parents, and my parent-in-laws, and my husband and my kids. And my nieces and nephew. Other than that it's kinda weird. My brothers in law get those side hugs or one arm hugs. My sisters in law get hugs upon arriving and leaving. My friends....better not touch me.

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  26. I don't mind being touched but hugs are just built to be awkward. "Let's mash our bodies together!!" Uh, weird. It's even worse if someone comes in at a bad angle or if there is unintentional groping. See? Awkward.

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  27. I'm a hugger of little kids..in a preschool teacher way not the creepy way. Otherwise there are very few ppl I am comfortable hugging.

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  28. You're right - Boyfriend SHOULD feel honoured. You get him told!

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  29. The spider monkey grab on boyfriend... I'm diggin' it.

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  30. I am a total hugger, So I don't 'get' it... but the clinger hug on boyfriend is GOLD!

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  31. Hugs can get awkward so fast. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to evaluate a situation and determine whether a hug was called for and gone in for something totally not intended.

    Tagged you in a questionar, btdubs.

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  32. I hate hugs. Really, I hate touching of any kind. (Except by my boyfriend or my daughter.) But I am germaphobic. It's part of my OCD. (Yes, I am actually diagnosed with OCD and misophobia.) Anyway, I'm rude about it. I can't help it. I actually put up my arm with my palm out, in that universal "stop" motion, and tell ppl, "This is my bubble. If you can touch my hand you are in my bubble. Get out!" I don't do it to be mean, I do it to keep my sanity because things are much worse if I don't. Most of the ppl who know me know this about me though. What I REALLY hate are those ppl who don't know me that well or are total strangers who touch me or catch me off guard with suprise hugs. Yeah, things get ugly after those happen. I'm suprised I haven't been arrested yet.

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  33. I'll hug my children and some friends who are like children to me. One of my sisters does air kisses. I can handle that as long as she keeps her distance. But don't freaking grab me and hug me.

    Love,
    Janie

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  34. So...you just commented on my blog and I was intrigued, and now I'm here and might never leave. D.A.R.D.?! And you have your own store?! And this post?! I'm dying (you know, in the good way)!

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  35. hahaha! this made me laugh so hard. Oh my word. You are hilarious and kind of adorable with your neurosis. I love it.

    Just so you know, I am not going to "like" your page only because I already follow your blog and follow you on Twitter. I'd start to feel a bit like a stalker if I liked you too.

    AND your statement about bloggers being anti touch..hahaha! not so han solo. Not so.

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/10000-Hugs-in-100-Different-Cities/339551079411203

    seems I LOVE hugs! ;)

    This was JUST the thing I needed to read when I got home from work! THANK YOU for that. love it!

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    1. I would high five you in my city. :P

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  36. That is quite an accurate breakdown on hugging. I pretty much follow the same no-hug policy.

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  37. See me and hugs...we have an odd relationship. As long as I am the initiator all is well. Why, I don't know. I'm usually touchy feely but my control freak side trumps.

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  38. How do you feel about handshakes? I hate handshakes. Sweaty germs! Sweaty germs!

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  39. I love hugs from people I like.

    Or from a guy I like.

    Otherwise, no. No one can touch me. My hands have their own mind. They smack people.

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  40. Bahahaha! I was so waiting for that last one. I was just talking to a girl today about how much we hate shaking hands. People do gross stuff with their hands. They should keep them to themselves. However, I am a hugger...assuming I like you. But I hate side arm hugs. I would much rather get one of those cards than a side arm hug. To me, a side arm hug says, "People sometimes confuse me with a pedophile or a rapist so to avoid that I'm going to make minimal contact with you and look like I'm in extreme pain while doing it." And then I end up feeling offended and violated at the same time.

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  41. Every time. You amaze me every time. So funny.

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  42. Oh loved this.

    Next up - a post on kissing etiquette! One kiss or two on cheeks? Or not at all, you slobbery, over-affectionate types?

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  43. Hahaha how have I never read your blog before? I always do the sideways-so-I-have-a-clear-escape-route, one-armed, butt-out hug. Always have to be ready to flee if things get awkward.

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  44. Will you be selling those cards on Zazzle? Do it!

    I've never been touchy-feely, and I don't like to hug everyone. Since moving to the Suburbs, I notice that people hug more here than they did in Brooklyn. Maybe because we haven't all just come off the subway with unwashed hands?

    Becoming a mom has made me more huggy though. My kids are great huggers. In fact, at my preschool the director asked me to speak to my daughter about not hugging and kissing with an open mouth so much. Oops!

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  45. There are always those awful uncomfortable hugs where the person hugging you holds on just a little bit too long. You try to pull away with a smile on your face to end the hug but as soon as you try to get out of the person's clutches, you realize there is no escape. Then there are those who whisper things to you while they hug you...

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  46. Yes. I have the same feelings about hugs. And the same three categories. I'm going to print this post out and hand it to friends who want to hug as a "Guide for Hugging Katie."

    Thank you :)

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  47. Your last illustration ("clingy") cracked me up. I've resigned to hugging. I don't love it, but if someone comes at me open-armed, I give in.

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  48. Hugs are disarming. I will wrap my whole body around one of my kids and squeeze until they squeal but ug! Other people WHAT!? I say give them the Hismen. I'd exchange hug cards with you anytime.

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  49. I never quite know what to do when someone lunges for me here in America because it's all so all over the map - some people hug, some don't, some handshake, some kiss you on the cheek - it's horrible and awkward! Esp. after you hug someone and realize they were just going in for a less intimate handshake. In Europe I love that they ALL kiss both cheeks in some countries - you always know what to do and what's expected. But here? Yikes. I loved this post, esp. you growling, and you being clingy. (-:

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  50. Ahhh! I hate hugging. Or people that stand too close to me. Or breathe on me. Or breathe around me.

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  51. I'm a total side-arm (one-arm) hugger when I have to hug. About the only time I can fully hug people and it not be weird for me is if it's somebody close to me in an emotional situation. Comforting hugs I can deal with....otherwise, it's a smile and a wave from me!

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  52. Late, as is becoming usual. I didn't have time to read all the comments so I'm not sure how the tally stands. But I love hugging! Only folks I know really well, but I hug family, close friends even a co-worker I haven't seen in awhile - if we were buddies. I think it's because I wasn't hugged a lot growing up. It just feels good to know someone likes me enough to hug me.

    I like you enough NOT to hug you Gia, since that's not your favorite thing ;)

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  53. So funny! I love your illustrations so much I just want to squeeze them! But not you, nope. I will wave from a comfortable distance. Seriously I used to be an over hugger (I know you know the type) until I became friends with someone who was an even worse over hugger (and kisser! with inappropriately stubbled face). It totally made me rethink hugging. And now I don't hug unless approached for the hug first. :)

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  54. Your pictures are priceless, Gia! I just want to hug you for your creativity and humor! But, I won't. I was paying attention, and I realize because I am not your boyfriend or your Mom, I have no business hugging you.

    I am a total hugger, though. But again ... no worries. I'll abstain from Gia hugs. Promise.

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  55. So awesome. I am a quasi hugger myself. I like hugs but only with certain people but not with everyone, are we done yet goes through my mind?:) Can we give you posts to illustrate, you are amazing!:)

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  56. A guide for huggers and non-huggers! Love this. Especially for those of us that are hugging impaired. I like to hug but I have the right not to hug. I enjoy my space.

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  57. You never fail to crack me up! I was once like you, but my (now) husband broke me. I remember when we first started dating, I thought - Wow! What is wrong with this guy? Why does he want to hug me all the time? Personal space, please! That picture of you growling was 100% me. :-) And now I'm a big gooey huggy mess. PS - Can't wait to show this post to him when he gets home. He's loved all your boyfriend posts too.

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  58. Cute. I like your monkey-like pink shoed feet gripping your boyfriend. I do like my personal space, but you know what I really hate? The handshake. They are just gross. Ellen

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  59. Love your illustrations - Especially the one-arm hug with the reserved personal space.

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  60. ha, i love this. i'm very much anti-touch, too- except for my husband and girl. i don't even hug my mom outside of the lean-in way. ;D

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  61. perfect Mayor

    If it were up to me the Constitution would state, hug your children and spouse/significant other every day, a lot and your otehr family members at Christmas and one other Holiday. everyone else, back off

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  62. I've never thought about it but I don't like hugging either... except from my kids. But I do it all the time to everyone. All the time. I should stop.

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  63. hugs are so tricky. sometimes, they can feel so amazing. other times, and by that I mean - most of the time, I have no idea where to put my arms and I end up with one arm up, the other arm down....and it's just all so awkward. then, the dreaded "hold on a little too long" hug - and I don't mean from your boyfriend either.
    not awesome - not awesome!

    Can the world not come up with some kind of mutually acceptable standard greeting?

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  64. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS. Going to link to it, tweet it, throw fliers off a mountain top... whatever it takes, until everyone understands they should stop hugging me. Love!

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  65. I hate hugs. And handshakes. And hand-holding. And any kind of touching, really.I want a T-shirt that says 'HANDS OFF'. I believe my mother has suspicions that I have Asperger's (which is a nice way of saying that she *really* thinks I'm autistic). :)

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