Tuesday, March 13, 2012

St. Patrick’s Day Allie



Me: Hi Allie!
Allie: HEYYYYYYYYY girlfriend! What’s up?!
Me: Are you drunk?
Allie: Whaaaat? Nooooo…..
Me: *sniffs* I can smell booze on your breath!
Allie: I just had a tiny bit…
Me: Allie, you were supposed to come talk about your plans for St Paddy’s Day. You weren’t supposed to be drunk yet.
Allie: The bar specials start now! I’m nothing if not thrifty.
Me: Damnit, Allie.
Allie: Why don’t I sing more often? I have a great voice…
Me: Allie no-
Allie: I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT. WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT.
Me: Are you singing Spice Girls?
Allie: Gia, your line is “So tell me what you want, what you really really want.”
Me: NO.
Allie: IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS…
Me: What does that even mean??
Allie: Hell if I know…
Me: C’mon, let’s give this interview a shot.
Allie: SHOT? DID YOU SAY SHOTS?
Me: Oh fuck.
Allie: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
Me: ugh.
Allie: I WANT SHOTS AND MORE BEADS.
Me: This interview is over.

27 comments:

  1. What does that line mean? Is it some kinky sex club the Spice Girls are part of? I wonder what it looks like when an alligator vomits.

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    Replies
    1. Right? Hey Boyfriend, you are NOT allowed to "get with my friends."

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  2. Yes, the Spice Girls were really that bad.

    I'll be in NYC for St. Paddy's, so I'll be pub crawling and watching the parade. You could have a similar interview with me on Saturday night if you'd like, only I tend to sing more classic rock as opposed to pop. Just warning you.

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  3. I got your beads right here. I mean,really, I got beads for every occasion. Where I live, if we got nothing else, we got beads!

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  4. I'll be crawling in NYC on Saturday. I went last year and had a blast. Hoping to have a repeat performance. I like Allie's suit change! I'll do shots with her!

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  5. I am hanging in DC on St. Patty's Day. Allie would be a lot of fun to have along! Well, as long as she didn't sing The Spice Girls...

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  6. Remind me to never interview a drunk gator! Spice girls...NOOOOO! Pain to my ears!

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  7. I'm with allie...Shots, Shots, Shots!!

    hahaha and there's NOTHING wrong with the Spice Girls. I still think they rock!

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  8. OMG!! Why don't I read your blog more often??

    I'm dumb. It's the only plausible explanation.

    *bookmarks*

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  9. I've never understood that line, either. When I was, oh, nine years old, I thought it meant that the guy had to be accepting of the friends in question. Yeesh.

    -Barb the French Bean

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  10. I'll be touring a local brewery for St. Paddy's. Awesome.
    And just a suggestion? Two words: "Irish Car-bomb". Ask your bartender for one.

    You can thank me later.

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  11. This is why we can't have nice things

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  12. Drunk gators... I tell you what...

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  13. hahaha. the spice girls. i remember being in high school when that song came out :)

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  14. Oh good lord. I did that song for karaoke with a bunch of friends at a gay club back in the day. We all had a ton of tattoos and blue hair and such. It was horrific.

    I NEVER went out drinking on St. Paddy's 'cause it's always amateur hour. Those of us that drank heavily on a regular basis, didn't need an excuse to drink like a fish. We called it "a day that ends in Y."

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  15. Wow. Now I feel really, really, REALLY old. Sigh.

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  16. Hurray, a drunk Allie! She's so cute... and just love her singing!

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  17. wait if you want to be her lover you have to get giddy with her friends? That doesn't sound right spice girls...that doesn't sound right!

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  18. I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want . . . except I'm too old to remember what I want.

    Love,
    Janie

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  19. I've been very drunk, and very singy before. But I don't think I've ever been drunk enough to sing the Spice Girls.

    I'm not sure there's enough alcohol for that.

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  20. Nothing good ever comes from shots.
    Even if your pants come off.

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  21. Allie is such a lush.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lush

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  22. Hahaha! She's getting a really early start. I want shots too!

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  23. Well, I guess my weekend isn't going to be sober...

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  24. That 'if you want to be my lover' line means that...shit, I dunno.

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  25. "SLAM YOUR BODY DOWN AND WIND IT ALL AROUND . . . SLAM YOUR BODY DOWN AND ZIG A ZIG AH".

    Phew. I'm glad I got that out of my system!

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